5:12am
I think I’m having pre-surgery jitters.
I’m going under the knife at 11am today. I only had a little over two hours of sleep yesterday, but I couldn’t get myself to sleep since I logged off work 2.5hrs ago.
The surgeon’s clinic (Cosmedics) is nearby; just a stone’s throw away from SM Aura, at the ground level of Brittany Hotel BGC.
Micah and I will probably just walk there and then book Grab back to Hotel101-Fort.
***
6:21am
I still couldn’t sleep.
It’s that same feeling the night before a big contest, a trip I’ve been looking forward to, or an event that I have to take part in. It’s like Inday Insomnia just knows it’s her time to shine, or maybe Lady Slumber is just nagtatampo after all those nights I rejected her advances and opted to tryst with caffeine instead.
I tried scrolling through TikTok videos of top surgery results and experiences, but it only made the anxiety worse.
***
6:30am
Back in bed and Micah turned and slipped into my arms. I can feel a little bit of sleepiness finally creeping in. I’ll log my final thoughts and try to fall asleep again.
I’m a little bit scared, mostly excited, sorta nervous about this whole thing.
I hope everything goes well. I hope I won’t be in too much pain. I hope my body doesn’t betray me. I hope it knows how to heal. I hope Micah doesn’t worry too much or go overboard with overthinking. I hope I wake up and I hope she’s there when I do.
I don’t do prayers anymore, but if I did, these are the things that I wanna send out into the universe.
xx AJ